They seem to want to hang with me. Do you think they're being nostalgic? Remembering all the years we've shared together?
I've given a lot of thought as to why I have had such a difficult time losing the last pounds. Many people might say, 'oh, it's because that's where your body wants to be'. And that thought has crossed my mind. And then I recognize it for the comforting thought that it is, but it's not mine. That doesn't mean I have an obsession, I think I've taken a very healthy approach to weight loss. It just means I know my body is destined for greater (smaller) things, in better shape than I am now. I know what it can be, I just have to figure out what is limiting me from getting there. Others might tell me, 'oh, it's just extra skin and fat attached to it from the huge weight loss.' So I start to think, perhaps they are right. Then I read a couple blogs from other women who have lost 100+ pounds and had skin removal surgery/tummy tucks - nope, only a few pounds actually came off in that skin/fat that was removed. So, what is it?
I was reading the Prior Fat Girl blog this morning and Elle, who is struggling with what seems to be a similar issue, really struck a chord with me. She said, "I guess you get to where you're happy enough that you just lose the sense of urgency." It's true, I am happy, I am thinner and in better shape than I've been in my entire adult life. The fact is, I still have a bit more to lose, but I definitely don't see the urgency that I had before - and probably haven't in at least 6 months. So, I'm not going to obsess about it, but I'm going to be very mindful that I am still on this journey and a little greater 'sense of urgency' on a daily basis.
On the very positive side of this is that I know I do not have a problem maintaining my current weight, and that is something that really gives me some confidence. I think that most people who have lost a lot of weight must worry that it will be short lived or start to creep back on. I've done it myself. I lost those 75lbs before my wedding and then in a few years it all crept back on. I know that that is not going to happen this time. I made a life change, and I'm really a different person today.
Another thought I had while I was in Toronto a couple weeks ago at Foundations in Action (my yoga immersion weekend), was that perhaps a part of me subconsciously doesn't want this journey to end. Have I identified myself with my weight loss journey to the point that I am clinging to not being 'done'? Something else to contemplate.
So, here I am still, but with a renewed sense of awareness of being mindful of my daily choices and my goal a higher priority in my mind than they've really been in quite awhile!