Those last pounds

They seem to want to hang with me. Do you think they're being nostalgic? Remembering all the years we've shared together?

I've given a lot of thought as to why I have had such a difficult time losing the last pounds. Many people might say, 'oh, it's because that's where your body wants to be'. And that thought has crossed my mind. And then I recognize it for the comforting thought that it is, but it's not mine. That doesn't mean I have an obsession, I think I've taken a very healthy approach to weight loss. It just means I know my body is destined for greater (smaller) things, in better shape than I am now. I know what it can be, I just have to figure out what is limiting me from getting there. Others might tell me, 'oh, it's just extra skin and fat attached to it from the huge weight loss.' So I start to think, perhaps they are right. Then I read a couple blogs from other women who have lost 100+ pounds and had skin removal surgery/tummy tucks - nope, only a few pounds actually came off in that skin/fat that was removed. So, what is it?

I was reading the Prior Fat Girl blog this morning and Elle, who is struggling with what seems to be a similar issue, really struck a chord with me. She said, "I guess you get to where you're happy enough that you just lose the sense of urgency." It's true, I am happy, I am thinner and in better shape than I've been in my entire adult life. The fact is, I still have a bit more to lose, but I definitely don't see the urgency that I had before - and probably haven't in at least 6 months. So, I'm not going to obsess about it, but I'm going to be very mindful that I am still on this journey and a little greater 'sense of urgency' on a daily basis.

On the very positive side of this is that I know I do not have a problem maintaining my current weight, and that is something that really gives me some confidence. I think that most people who have lost a lot of weight must worry that it will be short lived or start to creep back on. I've done it myself. I lost those 75lbs before my wedding and then in a few years it all crept back on. I know that that is not going to happen this time. I made a life change, and I'm really a different person today.

Another thought I had while I was in Toronto a couple weeks ago at Foundations in Action (my yoga immersion weekend), was that perhaps a part of me subconsciously doesn't want this journey to end.  Have I identified myself with my weight loss journey to the point that I am clinging to not being 'done'? Something else to contemplate.

So, here I am still, but with a renewed sense of awareness of being mindful of my daily choices and my goal a higher priority in my mind than they've really been in quite awhile!

January - a month of Struggle!

I never planned that January would end up being a month of struggle for me for weight loss and exercise, but it ended up that way.

I had such great intentions as the year began - I made it to Jazzercise every day until I pulled my calf muscle and was waylaid by it for several weeks. Last week I made it back to class 3 times and this week I have already gone twice (although today is cancelled due to snow). My calf feels back to normal, thankfully. It was very frustrating to deal with the injury, but I am thankful it was not worse. The silver lining in all of this is that I've begun going to yoga regularly, am really enjoying it and already see improvements in my practice. I've also gotten on the treadmill at home a few times to walk and do some running intervals to get some extra cardio in. So, overall on the exercise front in January - not too bad considering.

At the same time this month, there seemed to be a lot of celebrations and more meals out than usual. New Years, then my Mom's birthday, Vern's birthday, a night out with friends, a delicious dinner at other friends', a soup swap party at my house - all added up to more indulgences than I'd planned for January. I know, you have to live a little, right? :) I'm not beating myself up about it --I also ate very healthy other days. However, it does add up.

It all added up to a weight loss of 6.2lbs for the month - which I realize doesn't sound bad at all - except that I was up and down within about 5 lbs over the holidays as it was, so it's only 6.6 lbs down from the middle of November - and that's what's frustrating for me right now after having averaged a loss of 10lbs/month for most of 2010.

At the same time, I knew (in my mind) that as I got closer to my 'goal', my weight loss would likely slow down a bit, but that doesn't change how I feel about it. So, here's to a better February!

Weight Loss Body Changes

Last night I decided to take my measurements - I've been doing them about 1x/month since the Spring to give me another way to measure success other than just the scale. It had been 6 weeks since the last time I took them - and during that 6 weeks I've lost 12 lbs. I was convinced there wouldn't be much of a difference since so much of October I was not able to work out as regularly. The thing I forgot is that as anyone who's lost significant weight will know, your body changes and adjusts to its new weight on it's own time schedule. So those times of losing weight but not inches caught up! I was delighted to find that in the past 6 weeks I've lost 2 inches in my waist, 2 1/2 inches in my hips, 1 1/2 inches in my thigh, 1/2 inch in my upper arm! so exciting :)