Saturday, June 30, 2012

Who Am I?

There are events in our lives that we know will be memorable. I really didn’t think that today was going to be one of them. I wasn’t nervous, I knew I was in control of what I did or didn’t do, and I was determined to have fun. I never thought Mud Factor would be so symbolic. But it is, and maybe that’s why people are so drawn to the challenge. In a little over an hour you face fears, physical challenges, and a lot of mental ones. The finish line isn’t about your time, or even the race itself, but the accomplishment of having done it. I felt amazing! I could take on the world.

From the old white New Balance cross trainers that had served me so well through a year of weight loss in Jazzercise, to sharing it with a new-ish friend Stephanie who’s on her own journey, today was full of reflection for me of how far I’ve come. I wanted to run between obstacles when others were walking, I looked at a 10x20 flat obstacle on a hill as a challenge and went first, I got excited to head down face first the biggest slip and slide I’d ever seen.  I ran down ravines and then climbed back up the other side.  I swam in a murky creek 5 feet deep when I otherwise never go in water I can’t see the bottom of – because it was part of the challenge and damn it, I was doing it! Perhaps the biggest accomplishment I felt though was the last challenge – climbing a 15ft (or higher?!) cargo net rope wall at a 70 degree angle, going OVER the top and dropping down in 3 foot increments. I have a fear of heights, but somehow, the challenges leading up to it and the camaraderie of my team gave me the confidence I could do it. I also truly realized how much our fears are really just in our minds. Yoga has taught me this, but sometimes I think it’s when real life experiences that show you that truth happen, that you truly believe it in your heart.

Two years ago I never would have done this. Actually last year I probably wouldn’t have either. Three years ago I would have laughed in your face if you’d told me. There’s a reason why - I recently was at a yoga workshop and Zeina’s words have stuck in my mind - We aren’t the same people we were a year ago. Or a month ago, or last week.  How amazing we get to reinvent ourselves, decide who we want to be and create our futures, isn’t it?

At the end of the day, I sit here with a few bruises and a couple scrapes and a little sunburn on my face – still riding the high of the event. I intended to write this post and tell you all in detail about the obstacles, the tips I read before and what helped, getting hosed down and publicly stripping to my sports bra and yoga underwear, maybe talk about the ridiculous traffic jam on I-75 or the amazing salad I had afterwards at Uno’s. Perhaps tomorrow J

Before the Run
Muddy Post Run High


  1. WOW, Jackie!! I am so impressed! So many of those things I would NOT DO. But then you said that one day too. :) I hope that you post pictures!
    CJJ - Cheryl

  2. GOOSEBUMPS!!! So very very proud of you, not only for doing such a crazy and challenging race, but for the journey that got you there! So glad to have gotten to "know" you :)

  3. Great job Jackie. I don't know that I could that yet, but it sure sounds like fun!